Written pre-COVID when Henry was still in diapers during the tame 2s. Note that I didn’t say “terrible twos” because, in hindsight, his twos were not terrible. His 3s and now 4s….different story.

Barnes and Noble is basically a heaven on earth for me at this point in my life. I could spend days in there, sleep in the children’s section using the stuffed animals for pillows and eat at the Starbucks cafe, located conveniently inside most stores. If you read my Starbucks blogpost, you all know how I feel about that! What a brilliant idea by two fortune 500 companies (is Barnes and Noble a fortune 500 company? no idea. But who cares. Whoever thought to put a Starbucks (not just your average coffee cafe) inside one of the last bookstores of all time was a GENIUS. So, like I said, I could live there for days. They have a bathroom too. Obviously, because Starbucks, coffee, need I say more? Where’s the poop emoji when you need one?

I was perusing BN today for the first time in awhile, and stumbled upon a great read. No – that’s a lie – it was a quote book for moms and the author’s name will not be revealed because I am about to say things about it that are a mixture of love and disdain…..much like my feelings about Starbucks.

Anyways, I bought this book for a friend who just got pregnant and while I would have rather written my own book of mom quotes, because (LBR) let’s be real, it would be f*cking hilarious, I’m too f*cking busy being a mom myself to write a book. So instead, I’ve opted to criticize the work of someone who did take the time to write one. Seems fair.

Here’s a quote that spoke volumes to me:

“Too much structured time is unhealthy. Doing nothing time is really important too.”

Yes. Completely agree. #preach #thisshouldbemyblogtitle

In fact, I rather prefer the quiet weekends at home. They’re as stress-free as motherhood can be and hello…. they’re financially free too! Unless you count the Starbucks run….because I don’t. Or the Amazon binge purchases of flair pens and French candy ….WHAT? it’s for my classroom. Anyone knows that you can’t be a French teacher, or at least a successful one, without flair pens and French bonbons (that’s French for candy). And no, when you say bonbons the American way, you are incorrect and I won’t share with you.

Okay so back to the quote – doing nothing is better than doing activities because there’s no pressure. For example, we love to visit to the Garfield Park Conservatory which we fondly refer to as “the jungle” because it’s way easier to say than “conservatory” for me and for Henry. If you’ve been to “the jungle”, you’ll agree with me – in the winter it’s heaven on earth, greenery, humidity, flowers….it’s a Chicagoan’s dream in February which I’ve recently classified as the worst month of all time. Sounds like a lovely activity, right?

Here’s why I’d prefer to do nothing. After I’m done worrying about whether or not I’ve packed enough snacks, diapers, underwear (in case I’m feeling ballsy), and my phone and wallet because I’m leaving my purse at home, and kleenex because his nose has been running since he was 24 months old, and a water bottle for him and a water bottle for me, I’m then worried that Henry has pissed himself and if I don’t change him immediately, he will develop a diaper rash from all the moisture that he’s carrying in that diaper and it’s a lot because I make him sip water every 10 seconds (also stressful) because it’s hot in there, although it’s also humid, and you know, if my kid doesn’t drink water all day, then he will die of dehydration…because that happens….in…one…day. Sh*t, I’m stressed just writing this. Then, when we stop for a snack which is ALWAYS the MOMENT we walk into the building, I have to do the following: #1 find the snack in my backpack, #2 make sure Henry doesn’t run away while I’m doing that, #3 make sure he has enough water – because you know .. dehydration, #4 wipe down the table, #5 wipe my sweat because it’s 30 degrees outside, but like 95 inside since I’m wearing winter boots and a hoodie, #6 pack it all back up because I forgot I have to go pee.

I have the same feelings when we visit the zoo, but now we have involved sunscreen, hats, and sunglasses. Also, there’s a wagon involved to drag him around in plus my own water bottle; oh and the wagon has a canopy that has to be attached because the sunscreen, hat and sunglasses are not enough to shade him from the sun.

more to come….